“As these thoughts swirled around in my head, I started to feel pretty judgmental about myself.
“Why can’t I be more productive?” I found myself thinking.”
It’s only taken most of my life, but I have finally stopped shoulding myself! It was a habit, almost a nightly routine as well. What should I have done better, what should I do tomorrow? Etc etc
I am so so much more happier but not talking to myself that way!
I do this so often! Even when I'm dead tired like in your example, or sick, I'll still have all these thoughts running through my head thinking I should be doing something. Over the years I've gotten better at it but it's still a work in progress!
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately! As well as the usual work “shoulding” I have a shoulder issue that keeps flaring up. I keep shoulding myself into booking gym glasses but then I cancel on the day when it hurts or I’m afraid of aggravating it and then I feel guilty about not exercising. But a few days ago I decided to cancel the ones I know are risky and only book the ones I know are safe and go for walks instead. It feels so much better deciding in advance rather than having the daily battle with myself! You’ve really hit the nail on the head on making conscious choices 💖 luckily I also finally got referrals for MRI and physio so hopefully it’ll heal soon 💪🏼
Thank you Jillian for this much-needed reminder! I love the saying “stop shoulding on yourself”, but putting it into practice is another story 😅 My biggest struggle is when there’s competing things that all need to get done but no obvious order of priority, so I can’t decide what specific task to do. Changing a “should” to a “choice” is a powerful reframe though!
“As these thoughts swirled around in my head, I started to feel pretty judgmental about myself.
“Why can’t I be more productive?” I found myself thinking.”
It’s only taken most of my life, but I have finally stopped shoulding myself! It was a habit, almost a nightly routine as well. What should I have done better, what should I do tomorrow? Etc etc
I am so so much more happier but not talking to myself that way!
Let’s stop making ourselves wrong!
It’s amazing that you’ve been able to stop! 🎉
I’ve been reading the power of now and it’s really helping to not think about the future or past to my detriment. 😊
I do this so often! Even when I'm dead tired like in your example, or sick, I'll still have all these thoughts running through my head thinking I should be doing something. Over the years I've gotten better at it but it's still a work in progress!
So relatable! I think it’s the cultural programming.
Thank you. The should voice is very loud, isn’t it?!
Very much so!
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately! As well as the usual work “shoulding” I have a shoulder issue that keeps flaring up. I keep shoulding myself into booking gym glasses but then I cancel on the day when it hurts or I’m afraid of aggravating it and then I feel guilty about not exercising. But a few days ago I decided to cancel the ones I know are risky and only book the ones I know are safe and go for walks instead. It feels so much better deciding in advance rather than having the daily battle with myself! You’ve really hit the nail on the head on making conscious choices 💖 luckily I also finally got referrals for MRI and physio so hopefully it’ll heal soon 💪🏼
It’s so important but so hard to listen to ourselves, especially when health is at stake. I hope you’re feeling better soon!
👏👏👏
This one got me good! Queen of shoulding on myself. Thank you for the reminder! 🫶
So many of us are! Just an invitation for us to try a different way. ❤️
Thank you Jillian for this much-needed reminder! I love the saying “stop shoulding on yourself”, but putting it into practice is another story 😅 My biggest struggle is when there’s competing things that all need to get done but no obvious order of priority, so I can’t decide what specific task to do. Changing a “should” to a “choice” is a powerful reframe though!
You’re so right! It’s not easy. But it can be so helpful.
The subtitle really completes this concept. So important. Thank you for this reminder, Jillian!
Glad it landed!