I’d like to thank
for the space she has created in her Winter Writing Sanctuary which provided the energy I needed to write this post on not-nearly-enough sleep. Sometimes magical things can happen when you let them.Hello there! I’m Dr. Jillian Bybee, a pediatric critical care medicine physician and leader in wellness and medical education. Humans Leading explores the messy bits of being a human leading, living, and working (mostly in healthcare), but it’s for anyone who is looking to acknowledge that life is full of ups and downs and who wants more joy and wellbeing in their lives. Make sure to subscribe to get my posts delivered right to your inbox. Thanks for being here.
Over the past week, there have been a lot of posts about the new year. Honestly, I hadn’t planned to make one. But, a funny thing happened last weekend when I went to work on some content for my upcoming podcast, and I thought I should share it with you in case you’ve ever (or will ever) run into the same thing.
While I listened to the project I wrapped five months ago, it hit me:
I’m not the same person that I was then.
Of course, I don’t mean this literally.
I’m still me: a life force + a body. (Though, if you want to be technical about it, none of my cells are the same as they were five months ago)
And my mindset is different too.
Many physicians (and other high achievers) are still on the hustle treadmill chasing someone else’s definition of success, and it’s burning them out like it did to me in the past.
This year, I decided to put a lot of that down in order spend more time doing things that are meaningful to me. As a result, I think I have been a better physician, teacher, and leader. I still love being a physician, something that is unfortunately not true for many right now. And, I think it is this work that has saved me.
My process of shedding and unlearning started in earnest during my Media and Medicine course at Harvard Medical School in the Spring. In this course, I tapped into my creativity in a way that I hadn’t in years. I had to be willing to try things and fail as I went because I’d never created a podcast before. All of this was going well enough until the feedback on my final project presentation.
“Great project. Terrible title.”
People found the information valuable and engaging, but they didn’t understand my title: Humans Leading.
I had chosen the title for the podcast (and this Substack) as a way of honoring the fact that those of us in healthcare are human beings, not the infallible superheroes that we’ve been striving to be (or that the public has demanded we be during the pandemic). Giving myself permission to be imperfect has been healing, and I wanted to create a healing space for other people as well.
Originally, I had wanted the project to fit into a series of podcasts I would make on healthcare worker distress. But, throughout the class, I had felt a nagging sense that I was limiting myself with the scope of my podcast.
The people who gravitate toward my work (and this Substack) are people both inside and outside of healthcare. The original scope of my project seemed important but too narrow.
So, in one sense, the people in the course were right. Not the right title for the project I did to stand on its own.
But, on the other hand, I was also right. Something in the title’s message resonates with other people. As I say in the intro to my podcast that is releasing this week:
Through my own recovery from burnout, I’ve learned how to address the perfectionism, workaholism, and denial of my own humanity that kept me on the treadmill that led to burnout in the first place.
And I’m here to help you do the same.
I’ve re-written the definition of success for myself and will continue to do work that fits it. For me, this means a life filled with joy and being of service to other people in a way that doesn’t deplete me completely in the process.
I hope you’ll continue to find something for yourself in my work that allows you to write and live your own definition. Stay tuned for the podcasts releasing later this week (including, finally, my Media and Medicine project!
Hi Jillian! Victoria here, based in the UK. Forging my path. Media & Medicine is intriguing - I look forward to reading more. I've had a fast-paced Commercial-leader Career, navigated a bit of burnout in the middle, and a lot of shifting, incl 18 relocations! BUT the biggest identity life change was from all that to being a full-time Carer, first supporting my Mum to care for Dad through palliative to end of life and passing, and 16 days post-funeral start her treatment for 2 separate, primary cancer lesions.
On my cry list was this: https://open.spotify.com/track/2IPHHm3WsJOjg3sMJKRAWG?si=6071830bef0247a8
Oh, and I started a mentoring business in 2017 because that's my passion for keeping my brain cells dancing.
In the UK I'm labelled an Unpaid Carer - caring for a loved one with illness or disability and not paid. My substack leverages my mentoring (on/off line) to support other unpaid Carers, and pre-warn /prime non-Carers to what potentially lies ahead.
So yes, I hear you and echo back much of what you wrote from 'across the pond'.