Last month was one of the busiest clinical months I’ve had in a long time (read… I spent a lot of long days and nights in the hospital taking care of very sick patients).
Not only that, one of my weekends “off” was occupied by 30 hours of coach training, something that I love but also that leaves little downtime.
Despite my best attempts at daily Active Stress Management (more on that via the link), I found myself feeling irritable and exhausted by the end of the month.
What I needed was rest. And, I don’t just mean sleep (more on that below).
I mean restoration.
Fortunately, I had anticipated feeling this way, and I had time carved out to truly rest last weekend. And, I have a partner who understands my need for rest and encourages me to take a break.
Because, as I wrote about in a recent Instagram post that struck a chord with several people, rest does not happen by accident.
Rest that restores your body, mind, and spirit requires being intentional. It’s something that we need each day (via active stress management practices), and it’s something that we need in larger chunks after busy stretches like I just had. This is the kind of rest we can get on vacation if we actually take the time to do it:
If you’re thinking, “that sounds nice, but I’m too busy to rest,” I’ll ask you the same gut-punching question that a fellow coaching student asked me recently:
“What is the price for not taking a break?”
Just like I did, I think you already know the price for you not taking a break. And, I hope this post lights a fire that allows you to figure out how you can prioritize rest for yourself in the coming week.
Because, as I’ve learned the hard way: If you don’t take time to rest and recover, your body will take it for you.
As you’re thinking about how to rest, remember that rest is about more than sleep. As Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith wrote about in her book ‘Sacred Rest’ and discussed in her TEDx talk, there are seven different types of rest that we need: Mental, Spiritual, Emotional, Social, Sensory, Creative, and Physical.
We can have deficits in each of these areas which need different types of rest in order to address them. For example, sleep is a type of passive physical rest that is incredibly important. However, if you’re already getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night and are still feeling exhausted (or your sleep quality is terrible), you may have a rest deficit in a different area that needs addressed. Or, you may have a medical condition that needs attention. Be sure to address your exhaustion with your primary care physician as you also explore the other areas of rest.
With that medical disclaimer out of the way, we’ll briefly explore these areas in more detail.
Seven Types of Rest:
Physical
Passive- this is where sleeping comes in.
If you’re not getting enough sleep, finding ways to get more (possibly through napping) is important. As my family can attest to, I love a nap. It’s probably because I often have a sleep deficit related to my work, and my body loves the opportunity to recharge when it can.
As a mom of a toddler, I understand that this is not always possible with young children and will spare you the ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ nonsense.
As a physician, I understand that medical training (and beyond) often means missing an entire night of sleep. This makes it key to optimize your daytime sleeping after your shift (or before it): eye mask, blackout curtains, sound machine, phone on silent, etc. As I get older, it’s harder for me to fall asleep after an overnight shift because my brain is racing. So, I’ve turned to sleep stories via the Calm app to help. You’ll have to find what works for you.
Active- this involves moving your body in restorative ways: yoga, stretching, recovery walks/biking/swimming.
These types of activities allow you to maintain or regain mobility, and they don’t require you to deplete your body of energy. When you need active physical rest, don’t look for a HIIT workout.
Mental
Your brain needs a break from all of the hard work that it does each day. Giving it time away from problem-solving is key to keeping it working optimally.
Examples of mental rest:
Stream of consciousness journaling
Reading- be careful with this one. Fiction might be a great escape, but non-fiction runs the risk of continuing to engage your brain when it’s already tired (It’s me. I’m the problem.)
Watching TV/a movie. Be sure to notice if you’re trying to use this as an escape/for numbing rather than as something you are truly enjoying. Sometimes, this can become an unhealthy practice.
Physical activity- this can range from restorative to strenuous based on what your personal needs are. For me, this need varies based on how much stress I’m feeling and how much physical energy I have.
Anything that gets you into a ‘flow’ state of deep engagement: a hobby, creative act, etc.
Emotional
If you’re in a helping profession, this domain is key for you because you spend much of your time attending to the emotions of other people and not concentrating on your own. You deserve and need people and places where you are free to express how you are really feeling. This is part of why I stress having processing spaces in our workplaces.
This type of rest is also key for anyone who is a carer in their personal life, works inside or outside of the home, or interacts with others on a daily basis. So… basically it’s for everyone.
You can get this kind of rest by being honest about what you’re feeling. Instead of answering “fine” when people ask how you are, find people you can really let your guard down with. Or, pay a professional to listen to your feelings and help you process. Or, if you’re more of an internal processor, journal about them, but don’t judge yourself for being human as you express the feelings.
Social
This type of rest is closely tied to emotional rest. Relationships with other people are key to our wellness and longevity.
However, we all know that there are people who give us energy and there are people who act like energy vampires who drain and deplete us. It is important to keep track of how your energy level is affected when you are around different people. Being around energy-depleting people when you are already depleted will only make the deficit worse.
Also, be aware of types of social interactions that give you energy (laughing, creating, inspiring, learning, volunteering, etc.) vs. those that deplete your energy (ruminating, complaining, gossiping, etc.). It may be nice to vent briefly with your co-workers, but I’d bet that it doesn’t feel good if that’s all you ever do. Find ways to do both.
Sensory
Our world is full of sensory input- lights, technology alerts, machinery, appliances, etc. We are not built to be constantly interacting with these inputs. Be sure to unplug from them on a regular basis.
Creative
Whether you’d label yourself as a ‘creative’ person or not, we all do creative work any time we are problem-solving or doing something for the first time (read: every day of parenting or when we take on a new task at work).
To replenish this energy, we can find moments of awe (in nature, in other people, etc.) or immerse ourselves in creative beauty (music, paintings, photography, etc.). We might also become the ‘creators’- using our own creativity to replenish ourselves (and allow for mental rest in the process).
Spiritual
This type of energy relates to accessing something larger than ourselves, but it doesn’t directly relate to religion. For me, I find connection to other people and the world via meditation and awe-walks in nature (going out and appreciating the natural world by really paying attention to it). For other people, they find this through prayer. However you do this, research shows that it is good for you and your wellbeing.
If you’re ready to find some restoration and you have an achiever personality, you may be tempted to try to hack all seven types of rest at once. However, this strategy is not likely to be successful or sustainable.
Instead, I suggest taking this rest quiz by Dr. Dalton-Smith to find out what type of rest you need to prioritize now. Then, look back through the list above to identify how you can get it for yourself.
If you’re looking for more resources, this podcast episode is great.
Always a good reminder to invest in rest. Thank you!
Great post Jill! Really resonates with me 😊