Set an Intention, Not a Resolution, for the New Year
How to start your year off on the right foot
Welcome! I’m Dr. Jillian, a physician leader, mom, and coach who is on a mission to help other high achieving professionals and recovering perfectionists live less stressed, more satisfying lives. If the full post doesn’t show up in your e-mail, come over to the webpage or Substack App to see the whole thing. Subscribe here to get future posts straight to your inbox:
Hello there. Welcome to 2025.
If you’re anything like me, you’re still in disbelief that the start of a new year is here. This is especially true for me as I navigate starting a year that no longer has my dad in it.
As a person who has never been much for New Year’s Resolutions, I’m even more against them at this point in my life when making it through the day is a win. If you’re feeling like this for one reason or another in your own life, today’s post is for you.
Maybe, you’re in a place like I was a few years ago.
If so, you’re:
thinking to yourself, “What do I even want to do next?”
feeling like you’re too busy to address this question
feeling overwhelmed by the possibilities
stuck in a cycle of self-judgement
telling yourself that you’ll think about it another time when you’re not so busy
But here’s the thing: You will never be less busy.
And if you think you will be, you could end up at the end of your life never having done any of the things that truly matter to you.
It’s also possible that it’s hard for you to consider what lights you up at this point in your life due to difficult circumstances.
It’s certainly harder than usual in my own life, which is why today I want to talk about a kinder way of setting goals. Not New Year’s Resolutions. Not, hashtag-goals (#goals) like you see on social media. Real goals= intentions for your life.
The things that light you up.
Setting a New Year’s intention feels lighter and far more sustainable than making resolutions because it’s impossible to fail.
Why do I dislike resolutions?
They often come with an all-or-nothing mindset— “This year, I’ll finally lose weight, get organized, make more money, get married, or crush my to-do list every day.”
Then, when you don’t meet your “goal,” you end up feeling bad about yourself.
But let’s be honest: life is messy. We’re busy, we’re human, and perfection just isn’t the goal.
Instead of creating a list of rigid rules, what if you focused on how you want to feel this year?
That’s where intentions come in. They’re about setting a guiding principle for your life—one that creates space for growth, self-compassion, and joy. If you make a consistent effort (read: daily-ish) to honor your intention, you succeed. And, likely, your life ends up a lot more satisfying as a result.
A simple way to set an intention is by choosing a word of the year (more on that below). This word becomes a touchstone, a filter for your decisions, and a reminder of what truly matters.
For 2025, my word of the year is tend.
This word resonates with me because it’s about gentle care and consistent attention. During (and after) a season of grief and transitions, I want to focus on tending to what matters most—my relationships, my well-being, and the work I love.
For me, "tend" means showing up intentionally, nurturing what’s already good, and planting seeds for what’s next. It reminds me to pause, notice what needs care, and take small steps to sustain it.
If you’ve recently experienced the loss of a loved one or a big life change, intention setting might feel different this year.
Grief can shift your perspective on what matters most and leave you with less energy for big, sweeping goals. That’s okay—grief changes us, and it’s important to honor where you are. This is what I’m trying to do in my own life.
Setting an intention during a time of loss isn’t about “moving on” or setting aside your grief. Instead, it can be about tending to yourself in small, meaningful ways. It’s about recognizing what you need most right now (rest, connection, space to feel, etc.) and letting your intention support you as you navigate this season.
When I chose my word for this year (more about that below), it came from a place of honoring my grief. After losing my dad, I’ve realized how much I want to tend to what truly matters. Grief has taught me to slow down, to notice, and to nurture what feels most alive in the here and now.
If you’re grieving, consider setting a word that feels gentle and flexible, like “heal,” “nurture,” or “presence.” Let it be a small light that guides you through this tender time.
Choosing Your Word of the Year
Reflect on what you need most right now. Is it calm? Confidence? Adventure? Clarity?
For me, the word tend popped into my head as I came inside from feeding the birds. I had been thinking about all of the things I’d need to do in the garden in the Spring, and the word found me. It’s fitting at this time in my life when so much needs tended to, including myself.
Think about what you craved last year but didn’t quite find.
Connect it to your values. If connection, growth, or well-being are your priorities, choose a word that aligns with them.
Keep it simple. One powerful word—like "ease," "presence," or "momentum"—is all you need.
Your word doesn’t have to be perfect, and you don’t have to “live up to it” every day. It’s there to nudge you back toward what feels good and meaningful when life gets hectic.
3 Takeaways for Starting the Year with Intention
Drop the all-or-nothing mindset. Resolutions can feel like a checklist of “shoulds.” Intentions give you permission to adapt, grow, and try again tomorrow.
Focus on being rather than doing. How do you want to feel (instead of what do you want to do)? Intentions shift the focus from accomplishing tasks to cultivating the way you show up in your life.
Make it part of your daily rhythm. Let your intention guide small, daily choices—like pausing for a deep breath when overwhelmed or saying “no” when something doesn’t align with your values.
So, what’s your word or intention for 2025? I’d love for you to share it in the comments so that we can keep supporting each other in this community.
Here’s to a year guided by intention, not pressure.
Thank you for writing this piece. It’s graceful, and practical. I appreciate that the word tend emerged as you thought about your garden. After all, winter contemplation of what you might plant in the spring is a delight in itself. Picking a word with weight for the year versus a resolution is something I’ve done before but I forgot about it - thanks for the reminder.
I absolutely love this, and feel it will truly help me to be more intentional with my year. Build will be my word for the year. Build my relationships with friends, family, and coworkers. Build my career. But most importantly, build my self confidence. Last year was a recalibrate year for me, this year will be my building year!
Thanks for sharing!