I crashed into the wall at full speed last October. A couple months into my sick-leave I realized I was treating rehabilitation as a project to optimize. "I'll do this and that and in a couple of weeks I'll extend the time of my breathwork from five to ten minutes, I'll do yoga everyday blah blah blah". And I was like Jesus Christ what the hell am I doing?! I need REST, not programs to follow. It was eye opening but also scary, because just lying on the sofa doing nothing made me feel things, and I realized I had kept myself constantly productive to simply run away from my feelings and thoughts. It's still hard, because it turned out there's trauma and all sorts of uncomfortable feelings and thoughts (I do understand my past self who kept doing stuff to be able to ignore everything...) but it gets better day by day. It's still scary, but I can manage it. Chloe, your posts are a reminder it's worth it. ❤️
That’s such a hard but important truth to realize, Anna. So many of us try to optimize every part of our lives. I realized a few months ago that I was doing it with my grief as a means to trying to get the pain to stop.
I think it's natural, because of course we don't want to feel discomfort or pain. So we resort to whatever coping that comes natural to us as individuals, whether it be excessive drinking, manic exercising, treating everything in life as a project to optimize. I think this is just us being human beings trying to avoid pain, but the point is it doesn't work. It doesn't take the pain away, it just hides it underneath so it keeps gnawing at us and sometimes we don't even understand what's wrong or that we're running away from something.
Wow, Anna, thanks so much for sharing this. I absolutely understand what you mean, and I LOVE that you've come to this realisation — that you've been optimising it all. So many people don't, genuinely. Of course it's hard, this is why optimisation seems like the best way forward most of the time. But it'll get easier, I promise. You're doing the work, and it's properly, properly inspirational. Thanks for reading, and thanks for your words 🧡
Cortisol cocktail omg what's next 🙄 I love this article, we get so focused on improving and productivity that our own wellbeing becomes a project as well, I've definitely been there! The solution really is in the less magical things like actually feeling your feelings and slowing down. Strange that 3sec tiktoks aren't going to solve all our problems for us...
"You’re not a human doing, you’re a human being." - WHAT a line!! <3 And a fantastic reminder! We are not programmed to constantly be 'doing', yet we make every attempt possible to do so since there is an abyss of to-do's to get to every second of every day it seems. I love this blog post so much! And focusing on JOY as a metric. Wow!!! YES!!! More of that! We live in such a metric/data-driven world, that this is such a refreshing take. THANK YOU for these insights!! :)
I crashed into the wall at full speed last October. A couple months into my sick-leave I realized I was treating rehabilitation as a project to optimize. "I'll do this and that and in a couple of weeks I'll extend the time of my breathwork from five to ten minutes, I'll do yoga everyday blah blah blah". And I was like Jesus Christ what the hell am I doing?! I need REST, not programs to follow. It was eye opening but also scary, because just lying on the sofa doing nothing made me feel things, and I realized I had kept myself constantly productive to simply run away from my feelings and thoughts. It's still hard, because it turned out there's trauma and all sorts of uncomfortable feelings and thoughts (I do understand my past self who kept doing stuff to be able to ignore everything...) but it gets better day by day. It's still scary, but I can manage it. Chloe, your posts are a reminder it's worth it. ❤️
That’s such a hard but important truth to realize, Anna. So many of us try to optimize every part of our lives. I realized a few months ago that I was doing it with my grief as a means to trying to get the pain to stop.
I think it's natural, because of course we don't want to feel discomfort or pain. So we resort to whatever coping that comes natural to us as individuals, whether it be excessive drinking, manic exercising, treating everything in life as a project to optimize. I think this is just us being human beings trying to avoid pain, but the point is it doesn't work. It doesn't take the pain away, it just hides it underneath so it keeps gnawing at us and sometimes we don't even understand what's wrong or that we're running away from something.
Wow, Anna, thanks so much for sharing this. I absolutely understand what you mean, and I LOVE that you've come to this realisation — that you've been optimising it all. So many people don't, genuinely. Of course it's hard, this is why optimisation seems like the best way forward most of the time. But it'll get easier, I promise. You're doing the work, and it's properly, properly inspirational. Thanks for reading, and thanks for your words 🧡
Cortisol cocktail omg what's next 🙄 I love this article, we get so focused on improving and productivity that our own wellbeing becomes a project as well, I've definitely been there! The solution really is in the less magical things like actually feeling your feelings and slowing down. Strange that 3sec tiktoks aren't going to solve all our problems for us...
If only they could, right? 😂
Maybe we just haven't found the right tiktok yet 🤔😅
😂😂
Thanks, Sophie! Couldn't agree more. Here's to the little things (that are definitely magical despite their size), and thanks for reading 😊
"You’re not a human doing, you’re a human being." - WHAT a line!! <3 And a fantastic reminder! We are not programmed to constantly be 'doing', yet we make every attempt possible to do so since there is an abyss of to-do's to get to every second of every day it seems. I love this blog post so much! And focusing on JOY as a metric. Wow!!! YES!!! More of that! We live in such a metric/data-driven world, that this is such a refreshing take. THANK YOU for these insights!! :)
Thanks for your words, Liene! Made my day. I couldn’t agree more 😊🧡