Unwinding Your Evening: Go From Overwhelmed to Present with 5 Intentional Choices

Aka... how to do something to get you out of the news-stress spiral

Welcome! I’m Dr. Jillian, a physician leader, mom, and coach who is on a mission to help other high achieving professionals and recovering perfectionists reduce stress and overwhelm, recover from burnout, and learn to live the lives they truly want to be living. This week’s post is the second in a series about how to bring stress relief into our days by incorporating it into what we already do (rather than adding one more thing to our to-do lists). Today, you’ll learn how to create your own evening routine. Then, tomorrow, you’ll get an amazing guest post featuring a restorative 20-minute yoga sequence just for Humans Leading Readers.

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Photo by Krists Luhaers on Unsplash

Have you ever rushed out of work to spend time with your family only to find yourself feeling disconnected and irritable once you got there?

You aren’t alone.

Recently, I worked with a coaching client who was having a hard time transitioning from work to home at the end of the day. After leaving work, she still felt the pull of all the things that she had left unfinished.

This caused her to feel guilty about “dropping the ball,” and she often found herself checking e-mails instead of truly being with her kids like she wanted to be. This only made her feel worse about herself, causing her stress that kept her from falling asleep at night.

It wasn’t until she learned to create an intentional routine that she was able to disconnect from work and be more present at home.

Have you been feeling stress about the upcoming US election?

You aren’t alone.

Recently, a friend responded to one of my Instagram stories to say that she’d been getting triggered by election posts and had responded to one in a way that she regretted. She knew that she needed to unplug from the cycle of doomscrolling, but she felt guilty about disconnecting. So, she kept scrolling, feeling more dread and anxiety as she went.

I recommended trying a technique from this helpful post from

Alisha Ramos

. By doing something intentional that brought her some joy, she was able to calm her nervous system and get off the internet.

Evenings can feel like a tug-of-war between wanting to relax and feeling the weight of unfinished tasks or feeling the need to “stay connected” to what’s happening in the world.

If you often end your day feeling more drained than fulfilled, it’s time to consider small strategies that can turn your evening into a space for rest and renewal.

If you worry that creating a routine will take extra time that you don’t have, I would like to remind you that you already have a routine. As in… you’re already doing things while you go from work to home. And, if you’re reading this post, I imagine that you might be feeling like this process could work better for you.

That’s what I’m proposing here: choose intentional activities to help you transition more mindfully into your evening so that you can enjoy your life more.

Here’s how to bring more ease into your evenings, one step at a time:

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1. Set a Work Boundary with a “Done for the Day” Routine

How- to: Create a mental and physical boundary between work and home.

• Why it works: Establishing a ritual to end your workday helps your brain disengage, making it easier to transition to relaxation and leave work stress behind.

• How to do it: You could clean up your cluttered workspace, make a list of what to tackle tomorrow, or take a few deep breaths while thinking, “I am done for today.” If you work in a building that is different from where you live, do this routine as you leave the space. If you work in your home, find a way to physically separate yourself from your work area as a way to signify to your brain that it’s time to go from work to home.

  • As silly as it seems, small routines like these can signal to your brain that it’s time to rest and transition to personal time.

  • The key to this step is to remind yourself that it is impossible to finish your entire to do list. It’s why “done for today” is so effective. There will always be something unfinished, no matter how efficient and productive you are. It isn’t a character flaw that you have things left to do. It’s a finite human design issue (if you don’t believe me, listen to Oliver Burkeman on this podcast).

2. Prioritize a Guilt-Free Pause

How-to: Give yourself permission to do something you enjoy/can reset you before diving into evening responsibilities.

• Why it works: Having even a short amount of time to unwind after work increases your resilience and reduces stress, so you’ll feel more present and less resentful of your evening tasks.

• How to do it: I often start this step on my commute home. I ask myself what would let me decompress on my drive home- music, audiobook, podcast, phoning a friend, etc. This helps release some of the stress of the day and gets my brain into a more relaxed place prior to arriving home.

  • If you work at home, you can still do this step. You could spend 10-15 minutes reading or listening to something enjoyable, taking a short walk, or enjoying a cup of tea without any distractions. This guilt-free pause can make a huge difference in how you feel for the rest of the evening.

3. Nourish Yourself with a Grounding Activity- the Weekday Wind-down practice

How-to: Choose an activity that allows you to be fully present and connect with your body like stretching, walking, gentle yoga, or even deep breathing.

• Why it works: Grounding activities help regulate your nervous system, easing you out of a high-alert, work-focused mode and into a more restful state.

  • Physical Benefits: Helps release tension, improves posture after long hours of sitting, and boosts energy.

  • Mental Benefits: Movement and yoga calm the mind, reduce stress, and create a sense of closure to the workday.

  • Emotional Benefits: Helps you reset, leaving work-related stress behind, and prepares you to engage more fully with personal time or loved ones.

• How to do it: Try something like stretching, gentle yoga, or simply sitting and breathing deeply for a few moments. Physical activities allow you to focus on the moment, helping you feel more relaxed and centered. Tune into tomorrow’s post for a post from

  Laura Hodgson PhD
  teaching an exclusive yoga practice for readers of Humans Leading that will get you started!

4. Use Technology Boundaries to Promote Restful Sleep

How-to: Limit technology use an hour before bed to encourage better sleep quality and get out of the stress spiral.

• Why it works: The blue light from screens can interfere with sleep, and social media or emails can keep your mind racing. Setting a boundary helps your body produce melatonin, preparing it for quality sleep. The bonus of this step is disconnecting from the outside world in order to have a less stressful evening.

• How to do it: Pick a time, like 9 p.m., to set your phone to “Do Not Disturb” or put it out of reach (or sooner if you’re struggling with doomscrolling). Swap screen time with a soothing activity like reading, journaling, or meditating.

  • As much as I enjoy the convenience of reading on e-readers, I have recently gone back to physical books as my medium of choice before bed. Occasionally, I pick a guided meditation and listen to it before bed, but I’m mindful to keep the screen brightness low.

5. Reflect and Release with a Gratitude Practice

How to: End your day on a positive note by noting what went well during the day.

• Why it works: Focusing on things you’re grateful for, even small wins, helps shift your brain’s focus away from stress and toward positive thoughts. It’s a gentle way to release stress and invite calm.

• How to do it: Keep a small notebook by your bed and write down three things you’re grateful for each night. They can be as simple as, “I enjoyed my lunch” or “I had a good conversation with a friend.”

After reading through the list of steps, you might find yourself feeling conflicted.

On one hand, the idea of more ease and less stress sounds great.

On the other, your brain is starting to make up stories (aka limiting beliefs) of why this won’t work for you.

Here are 3 common limiting beliefs that get in the way of a mindful wind down and ways you might address them:

1. “I don’t have time for this.”
   Many professionals feel their schedules are too packed to fit in even a short movement practice. This belief leads to prioritizing tasks over self-care, and it’s what leaves us stuck in the stress cycle.

   1. Start to address it: ask yourself what you can do to start the above steps on your way home from work as I mentioned above. This is a way to add something you enjoy without adding time. You will likely find that doing this leaves you arriving home with more energy and less stress.

2. “I’m too exhausted to do anything after work.”
   When you’re already tired, it can feel counterintuitive to move. However, movement can help energize and refresh rather than drain you.

   1. Start to address it: Addressing this one starts with the same process as the belief above! This is a way to add something you enjoy without adding time. You will likely find that doing this leaves you arriving home with more energy and less stress.

3. “Movement has to be intense, or it doesn’t count.”
   There’s a misconception that only high-intensity exercise is beneficial. Gentle movement like yoga or stretching can be just as effective for calming the mind and body.

   1. Start to address it: Try 3-5 minutes of gentle stretching to get you started. Take note of the tension in your body before you start. Notice how you feel when you’re done. You may not have gotten a hardcore workout, but you did do something beneficial for your body. Your body needs exercise and restorative movement in order to be at its best.

Transforming your evening into a time of less chaos is possible with small, intentional choices.

While this practice will not eliminate all of the stress from your life, integrating these practices into your routine can help you shift from feeling overwhelmed to ending the day with a sense of ease. And as you make these habits your own, you’ll find yourself recharging in ways that make tomorrow feel lighter as well.

If you’re having a hard time due to limiting beliefs, begin to tackle them using the tips above and commit to doing at least 5 minutes of something for yourself starting this week. Notice how it positively affects your mood, energy, and stress levels.

You’ll be well on your way to an evening filled with more ease.

If you’re ready to dive in with both feet, stay tuned for the Weekday Winddown yoga practice coming tomorrow (Monday) to help you start your week off right.

I did this yoga practice in the morning after a 16-hour overnight shift and found it incredibly restorative. So, even if you’re working the night shift, it’s for you!