Feeling Overwhelmed? Create a "Could-Do" List for Summer

How-to enjoy yourself even when life is hectic

Welcome! I’m Dr. Jillian, a physician leader, mom, and coach who is on a mission to help overwhelmed, ambitious women live less stressed, more satisfying lives. If the full post doesn’t show up in your e-mail, come over to the webpage or Substack App to see the whole thing. Subscribe here to get future posts straight to your inbox:

Strawberry season has arrived in my garden!

Happy Summer Solstice! (in the Northern Hemisphere)

According to the Farmer’s Almanac, the “June solstice (aka summer solstice) occurs when the Sun travels along its northernmost path in the sky” and marks the official start to Summer.

When we experience long periods of daylight like we do around summer solstice, we may experience an energy boost and feel that anything is possible. This boost can propel us through the end of the school year if we have school-aged children, and it may help us to be able to check more things off our to-do list for a brief period.

But, as with all things, this eventually comes to an end. Soon, we are left feeling depleted.

Also, instead of taking time to celebrate ourselves for our accomplishments or using the extra hours of daylight for more enjoyment, many of us simply add more things to our to-do lists and then berate ourselves when we can’t find the energy to do them.

As a coach, I hear story after story of women who are exhausted by shuttling their children from activity to activity after school. During this summer, this gets worse as the routine of the school year slips away. The women find their days completely consumed by the activities of other people, often while they try to navigate their own work.

Even if you don’t have children, it’s easy for your days to get taken over by commitments and a feeling that you need to “make the most” of summer by doing as much as possible.

But what most people really want is a break to be able to enjoy the long days of summer and have fun like they did when they were children. But they don’t feel like they can because of everything they have on their plates.

If this feels familiar, you’re not alone.

And I’ll tell you what I tell my coaching clients:

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If you want a different experience, you have to do something different.

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I’ve very much needed this reminder recently as I’ve pretty much been working since I got back from time off for my dad’s memorial in May.

The energy boost I’ve gotten from longer days has been extremely helpful. However, over the past few weeks, I have been feeling emotionally and physically exhausted as I juggle my work schedule, big toddler emotions, illness, the upcoming beginning of the medical academic year, and being the executor of my dad’s estate.

In order to combat the exhaustion, I’ve been seeking out inspiration and trying to prioritize real rest for myself.

As part of this process, I was inspired by this post from

Beth Kempton

to think about the kind of summer that I want to have.

Here’s what I came up with:

• Less busy

• Less stressed

• More freedom

• More joy

• More spontaneity

• More present

Basically, the opposite of how I’ve been feeling recently.

Getting inspired by nature, a great book from Holly Ringland, and the Time to Thrive journal from Selina Barker

Clearly, I can’t change my work schedule, but that doesn’t mean that I have no control over my time or energy.

In reflecting in my Time to Thrive journal from

Selina Barker

, I’ve realized that I haven’t built enough joyful and fun moments into my days recently. I’ve allowed work to creep beyond my boundaries and have spent too much time looking at screens (large and small).

To combat this, I’ve been prioritizing more time away from my phone and the computer and have made a list of things that I would actually like to do this summer.

In other words, I’ve made myself a “Could-do” list.

A could-do list from Simple Things June issue

I first heard about “Could-do” lists from Simple Things Magazine.

As shown in the photo above, they give an example list each month in the magazine. This lighthearted list can serve as inspiration for you to then add your own ideas.

And then, when you need inspiration, you can turn to your list to find something that you could do (rather than something that you feel you should do).

In order to have a summer that feels more like the list above and less like the way I’ve been living, I’ve created my own summer "could-do” list. It includes things like “have an ice cream cone,” “run through the sprinkler with my son,” and “lie in the hammock without reading or listening to anything.”

It doesn’t have to be complicated to be effective.

If you feel like this could be helpful for you as you head into summer, I recommend trying it out.

Here’s how to get started:

• Start small: micro-adventures and small treats

  1. It doesn’t have to be big to have a big impact on your wellbeing

• Give yourself permission to do something just because it’s fun (yes, you can take a pottery class)

• Consider a broad range of categories:

  1. Creative pursuits you've shelved

  2. Adventures (big and small)

  3. Rest and restoration

  4. Connections and relationships (including to yourself)

  5. Learning something just for fun

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Some things on my "could-do" list

Hopefully, doing this exercise helps you start to think about what you’d actually like to do this summer.

If you’d like to go deeper, dig into the reflection questions or resources below and then let me know what you’ve added to your could-do list in the comments.

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Reflection Questions

1. What's one thing you've been telling yourself you "should" do that you actually don't want to do at all? What would happen if you just... didn't?

2. If you knew no one would judge you and failure wasn't an issue, what would you try this summer just because it sounds interesting or fun?

3. Think back to who you were before you became responsible for everyone else's needs. What did that version of you love to do? How might you reconnect with that version of yourself?

4. What does rest actually look like for you? (look here if you need some ideas)

5. Complete this sentence: "I want my life to feel… " What comes up for you, and what small step could you take toward that this summer?

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Other places to find inspiration:

1. Recipe for Summer by

   Beth Kempton

2. A Very Low-Key Summer Checklist | Cup of Jo

3. Why Your ‘Stupid Little Walk’ Might Be the Most Revolutionary Act of All by

   Dr. Wendy Pabich

4. The Five Energy Zones – what they are and why they matter by

   Selina Barker

5. Feeling drained? Identify and plug these 5 energy leaks by

   Holly Bailie (she/her)

6. How to make summer feel special - by

   Caroline Chambers

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What’s on your could-do list?

I’d love to hear in the comments.