You Probably Have the Wrong Idea About Rest
7 ways to get some real rest
Welcome! I’m Dr. Jillian, a physician leader, mom, and coach who is on a mission to help other high achieving professionals and recovering perfectionists live less stressed, more satisfying lives. Like many of you, I’ve been feeling exhausted recently. Today, you’ll learn how I’ve learned to rest and how to get some for yourself. If the full post doesn’t show up in your e-mail, come over to the webpage or Substack App to see the whole thing. Subscribe here to get future posts straight to your inbox:
Hello to all of you, especially you new Humans Leading readers! There are quite a few of you who have subscribed since I released this post last week:
This week, we are talking about rest, something I think all of us could use right about now.
As a Pediatric Critical Care Medicine physician, mom, leader, speaker, coach, and creative, I spend a lot of time working. Whether I’m in the hospital or not, I often find that I’m more like a Human Doing than a Human Being.
Recently, I’ve worked a lot of shifts in the hospital, including overnight ones. These are 16-hour shifts spent in the hospital where I get little to any sleep, and I’m often on my feet for much of the time.
Despite my best attempts at daily Active Stress Management (more on that via the link), I find myself feeling irritable and exhausted at times.
Especially earlier this week when I felt completely depleted.
What I needed was rest. And I don’t just mean sleep (more on that below).
I mean restoration.
Fortunately, I had anticipated feeling this way after working an overnight shift last weekend, and I blocked off time in my calendar on Monday morning to make sure that I had time to myself.
Because, as I’ve talked about before, rest does not happen by accident.
Rest that restores your body, mind, and spirit requires being intentional.
It’s something that we need each day (via active stress management practices), and it’s something that we need in larger chunks after busy stretches. This is the kind of rest we can get on vacation if we actually take the time to do it:
If you’re thinking, “that sounds nice, but I’m too busy to rest,” I’ll ask you the same gut-punching question that a fellow coaching student asked me during my coaching certification training:
“What is the price for not taking a break?”
Just like I did, I think you already know the price for you not taking a break. And I hope this post lights a fire that allows you to figure out how you can prioritize rest for yourself in the coming week and the holiday season.
Because, as I’ve learned the hard way: If you don’t take time to rest and recover, your body will take it for you.
As you’re thinking about how to rest, remember that rest is about more than sleep or lying down doing nothing.
As Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith wrote about in her book ‘Sacred Rest’ and discussed in her TEDx talk, there are seven different types of rest that we need: Mental, Spiritual, Emotional, Social, Sensory, Creative, and Physical.
We can have deficits in each of these areas which need different types of rest in order to address them.
For example, sleep is a type of passive physical rest that is incredibly important. However, if you’re already getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night and are still feeling exhausted (or your sleep quality is terrible), you may have a rest deficit in a different area that needs addressed. Or, you may have a medical condition that needs attention. Be sure to address your exhaustion with your primary care physician as you also explore the other areas of rest.
With that medical disclaimer out of the way, we’ll briefly explore these areas in more detail.
Seven Types of Rest:
1. Physical
Passive- this is where sleeping and lying down come in.
If you’re not getting enough sleep, finding ways to get more (possibly through napping) is important. As my family can attest to, I love a nap. It’s probably because I often have a sleep deficit related to my overnight shifts, and my body loves the opportunity to recharge when it can.
As a mom of a toddler, I understand that getting the recommended amount of sleep is not always possible with young children and will spare you the ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ nonsense.
As a physician, I understand that our work or home lives may result in us missing an entire night (or much of the night) of sleep. This makes it key to optimize your daytime sleeping after your shift (or before it): eye mask, blackout curtains, sound machine, phone on silent, etc. As I get older, it’s harder for me to fall asleep after an overnight shift because my brain is racing. So, I’ve turned to sleep stories via the Calm app to help. You’ll have to find what works for you.
Lying down and truly resting our minds and bodies is also restorative. But it requires unplugging from the devices that we often find ourselves attached to. The next time you’re looking to do this, put your phone away and pay attention to how different it feels than when you are scrolling or answering emails while you “rest”
Active- this involves moving your body in restorative ways
These types of activities allow you to maintain or regain mobility, and they don’t require you to deplete your body of energy.
When you need active physical rest, don’t look for a HIIT workout. Pick something else like yoga, stretching, recovery walks, biking, swimming, or even rock climbing
I highly recommend this yoga practice from
when you need active rest. I’ve done it several times (including after my overnight shifts) and feel so much better afterward.
2. Mental
Your brain needs a break from all of the hard work that it does each day. Giving it time away from problem-solving is key to keeping it working optimally.
Examples of mental rest:
Stream of consciousness journaling (this recent podcast from
is a great one if you want to discover the power of journaling)Reading- be careful with this one. Fiction might be a great escape, but non-fiction runs the risk of continuing to engage your brain when it’s already tired (It’s me. I’m the problem.)
Watching TV/a movie. Be sure to notice if you’re trying to use this as an escape/for numbing rather than as something you are truly enjoying. Sometimes, this can become an unhealthy practice.
Physical activity- this can range from restorative to strenuous based on what your personal needs are. For me, this need varies based on how much stress I’m feeling and how much physical energy I have.
Anything that gets you into a ‘flow’ state of deep engagement: a hobby, creative act, etc. I often find that writing my Substack feels a lot like rest to me when I enjoy what I’m writing.
3. Emotional
If you’re in a helping profession, this domain is key for you because you spend much of your time attending to the emotions of other people and not concentrating on your own. You deserve and need people and places where you are free to express how you are really feeling. This is part of why I stress having processing spaces in our workplaces.
It’s also why I wrote this post last week where I share my toolkit for hard days.
If you’re looking for a way to help yourself, someone you care about, or a team of people through hard days, the nurses at my hospital made this toolkit based on the post, and it’s free to download via this link. I only ask that you credit me if you share it.
This type of rest is also key for anyone who is a carer in their personal life, works inside or outside of the home, or interacts with others on a daily basis. So… basically it’s for everyone.
You can get this kind of rest by being honest about what you’re feeling. Instead of answering “fine” when people ask how you are, find people you can really let your guard down with. Or, pay a professional to listen to your feelings and help you process. Or, if you’re more of an internal processor, journal about them, but don’t judge yourself for being human as you express the feelings.
4. Social
This type of rest is closely tied to emotional rest. Relationships with other people are key to our wellness and longevity.
However, we all know that there are people who give us energy and there are people who act like energy vampires who drain and deplete us. It is important to keep track of how your energy level is affected when you are around different people. Being around energy-depleting people when you are already depleted will only make the deficit worse.
Also, be aware of types of social interactions that give you energy (laughing, creating, inspiring, learning, volunteering, etc.) vs. those that deplete your energy (ruminating, complaining, gossiping, etc.). It may be nice to vent briefly with your co-workers, but I’d bet that it doesn’t feel good if that’s all you ever do. Find ways to do both.
5. Sensory
Our world is full of sensory input- lights, technology alerts, machinery, appliances, etc. We are not built to be constantly interacting with these inputs. Be sure to unplug from them on a regular basis.
I do this during my morning routine which allows me quiet time before I start my day.
I also try to get outside as much as possible, even when it’s cold. The sounds of the natural world are incredibly restorative.
6. Creative
Whether you’d label yourself as a ‘creative’ person or not, we all do creative work any time we are problem-solving or doing something for the first time (read: every day of parenting or when we take on a new task at work).
To replenish this energy, we can find moments of awe (in nature, in other people, etc.) or immerse ourselves in creative beauty (music, paintings, photography, etc.). We might also become the ‘creators’- using our own creativity to replenish ourselves (and allow for mental rest in the process).
7. Spiritual
This type of energy relates to accessing something larger than ourselves, but it doesn’t directly relate to religion.
For me, I find connection to other people and the world via meditation and awe-walks in nature (going out and appreciating the natural world by really paying attention to it). For other people, they find this through prayer. However you do this, research shows that it is good for you and your wellbeing.
If you’re ready to find some restoration and you have an achiever personality, you may be tempted to try to hack all seven types of rest at once. However, this strategy is not likely to be successful or sustainable.
Instead, I suggest taking this rest quiz by Dr. Dalton-Smith to find out what type of rest you need to prioritize now. Then, look back through the list above to identify how you can get it for yourself.
If you’re looking for more resources, this podcast episode is great. I also highly recommend
as a way to prioritize rest and sanity during the holiday season.
This is great! 👍 So many brilliant ideas and techniques.. Thank you Jillian 🙏😊
Thank you for recommending the podcast! So many great suggestions here